Hortiscope

By Medicinal Mike Boris

Instagram: @medicinal_mike

Capricorn

You have a little stoner friend who you love to give funds to to get his flower but you are not teaching him anything, it’s time to let him fend for himself and you should just smoke this. 1 to the head.

Aquarius

You have spent all day and night in the garden and all you’re doing is criticizing yourself. Your flowers look great, your buds are blooming big, give yourself a pat on the back because nobody else will.

Aries

Around this time of year, you like to offer all your helpful growing advice, but please stop. Your thumb is brown. And your advice is about to ruin some gardens so think twice before lending that helping hand.

Gemini

That magical brownie you ate has got you hearing voices, but the good news is those are actually real people trying to get a hold of you and let you know they need your help so lend out your time and it will be rewarded.

Taurus

The garden is speaking to you sharing its secrets. You’ve been hoarding them but now is the time to share those precious lessons or risk having the best pot but smoking it alone.

Libra

This week you’re feeling the need to bond with your friends but you still have some unfinished gardening that needs your love more. So roll up a fatty and get your hands dirty. You’ll enjoy the fun time more afterwards.

Scorpio

This week a special friend gives you a medicated brownie that looks like a butt. Don’t crinkle your nose because it will hurt their feelings. Just toss that little nugget in your pocket and try it later at home.

Sagittarius

Ha! Someone is trying to show you a new dab trick. They don’t know you are the dab master and know everything. At least you think you do. Pipe up and absorb some knowledge. You might learn a new trick.

Leo

Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re up. This is your week to shine… again. Don’t doubt your charisma in the circle sometimes you deserve two joints at the same time.

Aquarius

Spring cleaning does not mean yanking all your plants out of the garden. Someone else in your stoner pack sees value in what you call bunk. Share.

Pisces

Your rolling game is on point but your edibles taste like regret. Take a class! There is no shame is asking for help when it comes to educating yourself for the benefit of others.

Virgo

You have had the best group of stoners in your circle for years. You also feel like something fresh in the group is needed. Plan a trip and smoke out some new faces.