By: Syltoya Sterling
I deemed 2016 my sweet sixteen and set out for it to be a year in which I would celebrate not only becoming older, but wiser, and entering a different stage of life. By the end of the year, for the first time in my adult years, my life was pleasantly almost unrecognizable!
People often associate change with decades, but trust me, the only way change doesn’t happen is if nothing changes!
My intention for 2017, was to continue to put into action lessons learned in 2016, letting go of that which no longer served me and doing that which is needed to heal and grow from a lifelong cycle of repetitive self inflicted trauma to self inflicted wounds. Sounds heavy, but luckily, at the start of this year, I was in a space where I trusted myself more, was more consciously aware of myself, and therefore, the situations and facts creating my reality.
Intention in the medical field is defined as, “the healing process of a wound.”
What’s my point? Why is this important? Because it’s only March 2017 and people have already given up on their resolutions, their dreams, which in turn means they’ve given up on themselves.
In life, we either progress or regress. We will only go as far as we allow ourselves to go and if we want to go further, we have to go deeper and do the work!
I’ve found myself asking what it is so many of us are so afraid of? Why have we allowed fear to prevent us from even trying? Then, I finally asked myself and came to terms with something that I’ve been battling with for quite some time.
I had a job, a job that I long ago lost interest in yet I stayed at, doing work that I didn’t find meaningful. It didn’t bring me the happiness I dreamed about, yet it provided me a financially mediocre lifestyle, at best. I was playing a game with my ego in which I was allowing it to convince me that having a job was better than having no job. I found myself trying to justify that having a job in which I was only using a small percentage of my gifts (instead of being challenged, instead of moving outside my comfort zone, growing, and expanding my own boundaries) was better than nothing. I knew this wasn’t true because not only did it sound like garbage, it felt like garbage and I was longing for more.
So, at almost thirty two years of age, I got real honest and admitted to myself, and my cats, that I was acting the part of someone more committed to familiar discomfort than the self loving advocate I was representing. I was claiming to be passionate about people and promoting the wellbeing of every person’s mind, body and spirit, yet I was doing work that clearly went against this and as a result, I felt as if I was selling out my own well-being. I admitted, and accepted, that I was afraid of quitting, entering the unknown and letting go of what little false sense of security that job provided me.
Admitting something and accepting it doesn’t mean you can’t change it!
I took the time to sit and get quiet so that I could hear and listen to what was being said, not by
anyone outside of me, but within me. Within me, for some time now, I’ve had the feeling that I am ready to make my dreams more than dreams, that I am ready to live a life in which my thoughts, emotions and actions are harmonious and that I am ready to live a life in which I don’t let another define my success or happiness. My “job” wasn’t providing me any of that, so I quit while on vacation, totally not intended, but definitely for the best.
The best time to do what you know you should’ve done a long time ago, is now.
You, me, and every one of us have something great within us wanting and waiting to emerge, but it will never happen if we keep letting fear take the wheel. We’ll never accomplish those New Years resolutions, or achieve our dreams if we keep playing small and safe. Rejection won’t kill you, it will only teach you. The only way to learn is by first getting out of the way of what’s in the way, fear. Fear isn’t real. Fear is false experiences appearing real. So instead of letting your mind create stories about why you can’t achieve something, use it to create a story of why you can! You are already enough to accomplish your dreams or else you wouldn’t have them. Don’t let 2017 come any closer to a close without you coming closer to aligning your thoughts, emotions and actions with achieving that which you want!
In Love & Gratitude,
Syltoya Sterling
Awesome article! I feel like I can relate to this in many ways!
Noe R. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m a firm believer in the fact that if I’m experiencing it, somebody else already has! We’re not in this alone.
This is so powerful and thought provoking. I’ve known the author of this piece for many years and she has always been one of the most positive people ever in my life. Syltoya has been on a quest of self improvement the entire time I’ve known her and I’m very happy that she has been able to achieve this epiphany. I’m at a place in my life, dealing with the death of my wife and fearing the future without her, so I plan on reading this many more times. Thank you Toya for sharing this with me and with the world.
Chuck! I believe we’re all here to learn to love just a bit more than we previously did, both ourselves & others. Take courage and strength in the love you shared with your wife & know that just because her body has gone, her love is with you just as much NOW as it ever was! Blessings my dear friend!
I liked this paragraph.
“I had a job, a job that I long ago lost interest in yet I stayed at, doing work that I didn’t find meaningful. It didn’t bring me the happiness I dreamed about, yet it provided me a financially mediocre lifestyle, at best. I was playing a game with my ego in which I was allowing it to convince me that having a job was better than having no job. I found myself trying to justify that having a job in which I was only using a small percentage of my gifts (instead of being challenged, instead of moving outside my comfort zone, growing, and expanding my own boundaries) was better than nothing. I knew this wasn’t true because not only did it sound like garbage, it felt like garbage and I was longing for more.”
Ronald! Thank you for the comment and support!
Your narrative takes me straight into my own journey of transformation. Your courage and wisdom is great, Siddhartha renounced his old life to become the Buddha and show the path to happiness and love with no bounds. I am sure that you are following your true path now… your light wlll shine brightly into the lives of many. I bow to you…
Steve C, I bow to you! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing! May your story inspire others to look within and act with courage!
Thank you Jeanine B!