Hortiscope

By Medicinal Mike Boris

IG: @medicinal_mike

Aries
The guy handing you a joint doesn’t have a smile on his face. When people send negativity, you can choose not to accept it. Live life for yourself and make sure every puff comes with a smile.

Taurus
Watching a friend ruin their garden when you have the knowledge needed to help them is just as bad as ruining it yourself. Lend a hand it feels good whether they deserve it or not

Gemini
You keep taking dabs from that nasty rig; then you choke, then you dab, then you choke. The only way you’re ever going to stop choking is to stop hitting that nasty rig that isn’t treating you right. Have some respect for yourself.

Cancer
This is the week to not hold that hit in. Let it out no matter who coughs from your exhale. Holding it in only makes you hurt inside. Clean those lungs.

Leo
Happy Birthmonth! When you give the world such potent edibles without warning, some may not have the chuckle in common with you over this event. Make sure you take medicating friends responsibly.

Virgo
Get out and tend to those plants. You crop is where you get your love from and neglecting them will only shorten your time with them. Grow every day like it is the last and every day will grow with you.

Libra
You took a dab way too big but time to pony up and clear that bong. It may hurt a bit, but the hard work will pay off in the long run.

Scorpio
Just saying you can grow and hiding behind that badge will do nothing for your garden. You can’t talk a plant into budding. You have to get your hands dirty again because… what have you done lately?

Sagittarius
Dang, you taught your buddy how to make some delicious medicated cookies. You spent all your time in their kitchen going step by step over the process. What a beautiful turn out… until you get home and you have no cookies of your own.

Capricorn
Some days it seems like no matter what edible you try your tummy doesn’t agree. Don’t blame the brownie; it is your tummy that needs the attention. Sometimes you have to care for yourself and don’t rely on cannabis for everything.

Aquarius
Hey, somebody switched your good herbs for some schwag! You may want to blame a partner, but it wasn’t them. Sometimes you just get too buzzed and forget where you put things. Think before you react.

Pisces
You tend to hold the joint all day and tell the greatest stories. Sometimes people just want to get medicated and not listen to your version of Pineapple express. Clam it up and pass the doob you are wasting the day away.