Hortiscope 12/23/16

By: Medi Mike Boris



Hey, friend. I think all the turmoil in your life has made you forget why it is you smoke weed. You forgot about the bond the magic circle creates where you get to experience some of the funniest, brightest, or even the dumbest stories. You used to love this part of life. So, time to inhale and get those love levels back up to a nice point of peace.


You are turning the joint into a microphone! You spend so much time talking instead of smoking that it’s starting to annoy those around you. Someone in “Your” circle is trying to tell you something important, but you’re too busy listening to yourself that you’re not going to hear it. Grab that joint, take a hit, pass it on, and as long as you do not release that hit all you’ll be doing is listening.


This week, you are trying to be like the dab because that is where you feel that the strength lies. You must be like the bong water! The bong water is the strongest part of your cannabis experience because of its gentle persistence. The rig, the dab, and even your wand will all be gone or destroyed one day but the water will only fall and evaporate to fall again. So be strong like the bong water and let your inner bong water rain upon the rooftops.


You are every cannabis seller’s dream customer. You are wasting all your money buying your weed gram by gram looking for instant gratification and overpaying for that beautiful plant. Suck it up for a week and save a bit so you can buy the whole ounce at once and you’ll still be able to buy yourself that new Xbox game you have been salivating over.


The nicest thing in the world is when someone comes up to you and admits it was they who broke your new quartz dab rig and you feel instant forgiveness for them. Even nicer is when you admit back that you broke it first so it’s not really their fault. Forgiveness given is forgiveness earned.


You get silly when you get high and everyone loves it! Well, almost everyone. This week can be hard for people with the holidays all around us. Try something new and use some tact when you start to make all those jokes you find so funny. Someone will not be amused so don’t be a buzzkill.


Sure, you are one of the best growers in the world, but even the best need a little help. Someone to water so you can take a needed rest will be the best decision this week. Batman has a helper and so should you. More hands make more joints.


You as a Libra know about keeping your soul balanced, but you’re not doing it these days.  Remember that smoking out with your friends for a good time is fun but so is a nice night alone with a medicated brownie. Open a good story and do a little soul searching and remember to feed the inner self as well.


Woops, looks like you did a CBD dab of Sativa instead of the usual sluggish Indica because you have super powers this week! Get out there and use them to your advantage. This rush won’t last forever but while it does you can overcome mountains!


You are on an Indica cruise this week. Mellow yellow they’ll call you. Luckily, this cool swag your rocking is exactly what will be needed to cool down an overheated situation. If only the rest of the world can take a lesson from you and just chill.


Be careful! You are so overly eager to get that new Blue Dream strain that you aren’t paying special attention to quality. Just because you want something this week doesn’t mean that you need it. Take your time and smell every grower’s brand of Blue Dream and I am sure you will pick the best one for you.


There is no excuse for eating a brownie you found on your bedroom floor a week after dropping it! Weed doesn’t kill germs. You are the gatekeeper of your body and your big mouth is the front door. Guard what you’re letting into your temple. You are lucky if that nasty brownie doesn’t make you go blind.