Hortiscope

By: Medicinal Mike Boris

Libra

This is your week to let it out! Usually they say hit the joint and then talk but we will make an exception this week for you. You are feeling like you’re totally blinded by the cloud but we are here for you. Let it out and by the end of the week you will see you’re the one running the rules of the circle and we will all follow your lead.

Aries

Your passing that joint to the left just like the song says and to your surprise it’s your mom reaching out for a puff. She may not agree with everything you do but this week she is your best friend, so enjoy the much needed bond and rekindle a good buzz with your family.

Taurus

You gave out all your stash to the needy hoping to get a shout out but the big mouth next to you is dwarfing your star. You want to get angry but stick to the course and just keep helping those in need because it will get you more recognition in the long run.

Gemini

Clingy much? When you pass a joint you’re supposed to let it go for the next guy in the circle. You are overly attached and starting to make someone else feel really crowded. The best way to get a joint back is to let it go. If it comes back to you then you don’t have to roll another one.

Cancer

Don’t you think it’s time to start smoking with some new friends and create new bonds? Well it’s not! Fix what you broke. You can’t go smashing someone’s bong collection and decide to forgive yourself and move on. Fix those bongs first!

Leo

They can’t force you to leave the house but they will try. Smoking to take care of your head is an important part of medicating. You won’t get much time to yourself so be greedy with it. You’re about to paint the town weed! Remember you are amazing!

Virgo

The edibles have kicked in on you and you don’t know where to go this month! You are wandering around from person to person looking for a friend because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do. Good news you’re still wrong! Wander your butt back to where you started that’s where you’ll enjoy that brownie the most.

Scorpio

You decided you are going to be an extract master this week except you suck at it. Remember just because you get frustrated with the process won’t make you any better at it. The greatest success from life comes from the greatest failures.

Sagittarius

The only thing worse than someone blabbing your ear off about something you need education on is finding out at the end of their blab that they also need education on it. Watch who wastes your time this month. True activism starts with “self”.  Probably a Scorpio blabbing, LOL.

Capricorn

You ever get so high you thought you could be a superhero? Well this week start putting real thought into it. You can’t fly yet but you can save someone’s day! Don’t hesitate! Your powers are needed. You probably won’t get laser vision either, but you never know.

Aquarius

You’ve found yourself in a smoking square instead of a circle. WTF is wrong with these people you think. Turns out it’s you, so relax sometimes you need to be in a square so you can find a good corner to hide in. Reclaim yourself. Change isn’t always bad.

Pisces

You have spent so much time bragging about how well you grow that you may have forgotten how to grow. Time to stop bragging and get back to work. Everybody is waiting to see the awesome harvest you’ve been telling them about all this time.