Hortiscope

By Ganja Glamm & Medicinal Mike Boris

IG: @ganjaglamm & @Medicinal_Mike

Aries
This week you’re sitting on such a stash that you think it’s time to go into business. Remember to be honest with your friends because one of them isn’t being honest with you. You’ll find more homes for those nugs if you keep your focus solo.

Taurus
The only thing better than a smoke circle of friends is bringing them all home to your house. Let that cloud stack lead your friends to a party thrown by you. You have wanted it and now is the time to celebrate.

Gemini
I know you said you could eat seven marijuana brownies in a row but this is not the week to be making promises you may not be able to keep. Keeping your mouth shut may lead to a better opportunity.

Cancer
Everyone is handing you something. A joint, an edible, a dab. You seem overwhelmed but hang in there. If you can make it through that pile of requests and smoke, you will be rewarded handsomely this week.

Leo
You can’t just go out and buy every shiny bong or dab rig you see. You need to start saving some receipts because you are splurging out of control. Use your head if you don’t have electricity you won’t be able to find your bong in the dark.

Virgo
You are the brightest trichome on the bud this week! This is your week to be heard, be loved, and express yourself. Just being you benefits everyone around you. You should be looking at the guy next to you all week with deep eye contact and slowly whispering  “Your Welcome.”

Libra
Your internal balance beam scales have been off balance all week, and you’re getting shorted. Check for that small piece of bubble gum off the bottom of the plate and balance your life out. Someone is working against you it’s not in your head but they’re just jealous.

Scorpio
“Wait!…..What were we just talking about?” This week is all confusing so don’t make any dumb decisions. You need to speed up those synapses and focus on the whole conversation… not just the color of their shoelaces.

Sagittarius
You have worked so hard growing your strain of cannabis, and it’s time for people to take notice. This week your work will speak for itself. So make sure to hush up the crowd so they can hear.

Capricorn
You have been inhaling the good THC but not allowing yourself to enjoy the high. You seem to be worried about too much and you need to relax. Take an extra puff you have earned it this week otherwise you will go insane.

Aquarius
You have been searching your whole life for that perfect brownie recipe, and now someone is just handing it to you. Don’t rush in because even though it seems perfect an even better recipe with more punch is right around the corner.

Pisces
You have been smoking the same dirty buds with your friend for way too long. It is time to say something or you will not only regret holding it in. You will have to keep holding in that nasty, dry marijuana taste.