By: Medicinal Mike Boris
Libra
OMG someone just handed you the wettest, lip washed joint ever! Usually, your kinder nature would be more responsible in its response to these situations but this is the third time in a row and you’re fed up. Go outside and do some primal screaming this guy doesn’t realize he’s spitting all over your day.
Aries
This week Aries you are smart enough to know how little you know. Instead of destroying your grow with bad knowledge and technique it’s time to assemble your super team! Show the world your mass intelligence by channeling all the homies into this project because together you are an awesome team of growers.
Taurus
Someone made you a brownie that smells like a shoe! Do you dare eat it? Usually, I would say “No, get that out of your mouth!”, but this is your week to eat Nike! Slap that nasty homegrown treat into your mouth and you will learn it is the most delicious piece of crap you will ever taste! Yum! Stop judging the package the message comes in and trust a little.
Gemini
When most people get a bad idea to wait six hours behind a 7-11 for a twenty sack. You tend to be a bit more advance and only wait for two of those hours before flipping out. Luckily flipping out has given you time to focus on the situation and your smart enough to figure out where the legal dispensary in your area is without too much trouble.
Cancer
This is going to be one of those weeks where no matter what you want to smoke someone wants the opposite. You want Indica, they want Sativa. You want a nice big smoke circle and they want to stay home and watch “Pineapple Express.” This is your week to compromise. Try and do both everyone wins!
Leo
The joint continues to circle the crowd when suddenly it disappears and nobody will admit to its loss. Arguments ensue and ruin the smoking karma that a circle inspires. A diplomat is what’s needed here and luckily that’s right up your alley….Check under Joe’s shoe he’s a tricky fellow.
Virgo
When you try and follow everyone’s directions for the perfect “Dab” you are bound for communication breakdown. It’s time to be your own stoner and assess the situation. Do you feel like you’re supposed to put pepper into fire OG to create the fire part? I think not! Way to be smarter than the next guy! Smoke at your own pace.
Scorpio
You took a massive bong rip on life and have been holding in that cloud for way too long. Letting it out this week will not only allow your body to breathe a sigh of relief but it will ultimately improve your life experience. Now that you can breathe again it will be easier to move forward.
Sagittarius
You have completely screwed up your cannabis budget and now you’re deciding between paying for that next joint or your cable television package. There is a friend offering to help you with this problem but you are being coy. Time to let them lend a hand if you want to catch up on ‘Game of Thrones.”
Capricorn
You are all about the bullsh*it this week. It is time to come clean and start doing what you keep saying. If you are going to be an hour late dropping off that next cannabis order, then stop telling the customer you’re just up the road! Honesty will only get you honesty and you can start to repair that integrity you crave so much.
Aquarius
Just because you think that guy/girl is hot doesn’t mean you need to smoke massive dabs to garner his/her attention! Hey, you’ve never dabbed before and curling into the fetal position contemplating how fast time moves is never a good move for a first impression! Take your time and be who you are. That’s the person they will adore.
Pisces
Now most people never offer you anything for free but a grow opportunity has arisen and it seems too good to be true. Go for it! You are finally getting that break in life you so deserve and the only thing in your way is fear and common sense. Abandon those concepts and harvest!
